Reputation

Reputations often reflect the perceptions others have of us as a result of primary or secondary sources. Depending on the level of interpretation another person or persons has of another's skill, character, personality, etc. may result in that person not "living up to their reputation". Reputations often come with expectations of how a person will perform or act given a situation and other people aware of said reputations may prepare or respond accordingly. While reputations can often be used in positive lights such as companies having good reputations for quality and long lasting products, they may also be a root source of disappointment.

I have stories of not living up to the reputation people had of me. One time in particular was with regards to my athletic ability. I was a part of the Track and Field team for the entirety of my high school career participating in both the winter indoor seasons as well as the spring outdoor seasons. Naturally I began to grow in popularity as well as stature among the coaches and my fellow teammates. Everyone on the team knew of me come my senior year except the new Freshman, who would soon learn of who I was as a result of my leadership position as an upperclassman on the team. Despite being one of the older and more "experienced" members on the team, I was far from the most athletic.

In Track and Field it's very easy to compare members on a team because of the fact that race results are so concrete. For example, if one racer could run a 200 meter race in 29 seconds and another could do it in 23 seconds, it's without question that the person who ran it in the shorter time span was faster and "better" at this particular race. Of course there are other factors that may play into account such as different rates of growth and potential of the runners, but in a given moment one person is strictly faster than the other. While this may be a rather controversial statement, Track and Field to my high school was all about results. Of course there were people on the team that weren't fast enough to win races, yet stuck around for the community and cheered on the ones that did have the chance to win events. However, like with any sports team, it's discouraging to continuously lose.

It's not unreasonable to say upperclassmen in high school generally were better in Track and Field events than underclassmen overall (of course there are many exceptions to this statement). As a result, the underclassmen developed expectations of the older kids. For me in particular, I was one of the few upperclassmen that participated in the triple jump event for the school. Although I wasn't very good, I was very experienced with participating in the event because I had done so for many years prior. In addition, I could do the triple jump event better than anyone on the team. This was partly because the triple jump event takes a very long time to get the hang of and as a result not many students wanted to participate in this particular event. During the preseason as well as the time period before our first major competition, I continued to perform better than anyone on the team and because of this my teammates often referred to me as a "genius" in the triple jump event. Through word by mouth, my reputation as a talented triple jumper began to spread throughout the team and it stuck until our first track meet.

My high school track team wasn't very good, but we would win events here and there which would boost our team's moral. As a result of the hype my teammates had given me, many people expected me to do very well in the triple jump event and score points for our school. However, I knew that I wasn't good enough to win the event. Although I was the best triple jumper on the team, I was pale in comparison to other schools. In fact, track meet after track meet I would fail to place in the event and my reputation as a "genius" triple jumper faded as I was unable to meet expectations.

This reputation wasn't something I ever wanted for myself. In fact, from the start I knew I wasn't that great at the event which I had tried to explain to my underclassmen. My reputation was only developed because my teammates didn't know any better and didn't realize the sample size of our team isn't an accurate representation of the competitors in the triple jump event from other schools. My reputation stayed intact and continued to grow because my teammates would spread the word about me without being properly informed of my ability in relative comparison. If I wanted to enhance it I would have had to performed very well in competitions to validate and grow the \ expectations of me.

Personally, there are many occasions when I wish I didn't have the reputation that I did. With my reputation came many expectations from both the coaching staff and fellow team members that I struggled and/or failed to meet altogether. For example my coaches would be extra hard on me to set an example for my team members. In addition, it was a lot of pressure when my team members were counting on me to individually win points for the team and sometimes I got very disappointed in myself for not being able to meet expectations. While I never wanted the reputation I was given, there were definitely beneficial effects of it that were used to help grow the team. I always gave my best effort and did my best to encourage my teammates. I believe by having such a heavy reputation, people were more willing to listen to me. Although I would've still tried to assume the same position regardless of whether I had this reputation or not. From the start I never connected the value of my reputation with the ability my reputation said I should have so I didn't act too differently and therefore never had the chance to voluntarily "abandon" my reputation nor did I ever fill like I "cashed in". My reputation did, however, disappear on its own over time as I was unable to meet the expectations that came with it.